Not the Norm

So, I have now been enrolled in online college for almost four weeks and and my first class is coming to an end. I have been pleasantly surprised that the book we are using, Adult Development, by Boyd and Bee has had information regarding homosexuality. I have never really had a class or a text book that remotely even mentions homosexuality. I have learned over the years, the education system focuses on the norm rather than minorities and this is also the case in lower level college courses.

As I have been reading the book and going through the stages of adult development, I have learned my entire life is not the norm. For instance, I am an only child who was raised by not only my mother but my grandparents and I happen to be gay. All of these things add up to make me one unique person with unique circumstances like the death of my mom and step father when I was 20. Youth is considered to be 24 years of age and younger and according to a journal presented by Debra Umberson and Meichu Chen in the "Effects of a Parent's Death on Adult Children: relationship Salience and Reaction to Loss", only one in ten children lose a parent before the age of 25 and I lost my entire immediate family. "By age 54, 50 percent of children have lost both parents (Umberson and Michu p. 152). So, in life experience I am about 30-40 years ahead.

I am having difficulty relating to the theories presented in the book because they do not apply to my life. I am well outside of society's norm. In fact, sometimes when I tell my story (especially online) I find that many people don't believe me. In my mind, I find my experiece to be normal and not difficult to accept, but to others they have a hard time relating to me. I have never really thought about any of this until yesterday and find the entire situation with a difference of opinions fascinating. I can only hope that with my current life experience and the learning experience, I will become helpful to others who have lost their parents at a young age or their families.


Debra, U. & Meichu, C. (1994). Effects of a Parent's

Death on Adult Children: Relationship Salience

and reaction to Loss. American Sociological

Review, 59, 152-168.