School

I have always been interested in gaining more knowledge. When I was little, my dream was to become a teacher or a politician. After high school, I began studying political science and law, but quickly learned that path was not right for me. I switched my major to teaching. After losing my mom and step-dad in one semester, my schooling became very unstable. I was unable to concentrate and dropped out of college. I went back into school in 2006 only to spend several weeks in the hospital day and night with my grandma who seemed (at the time) not going to make it through her illness. Several organs began shutting down. I dropped out of college once again. In December of 2007, my grandma passed away. My life was turned upside down once again.

This time, I was mostly alone in planning for a funeral, preparing the house for guests, and Christmas was right around the corner. Money was tight as I was still not a college graduate and working in a fast food restaurant. If someone told me years ago that I would be 23 and not be graduated from college, I would have laughed. To pay for the mortgage and taking up several extra expenses, I accepted a promotion through Taco Bell that would lead me to be an assistant manager. I still struggled with keeping up with all the bills and began to fail in several areas. The debt began racking up and I had no where to turn.

I wanted to achieve my dreams and goals, but they seemed impossible. I was stuck and did not see a way to get back into school. 2008 was a disaster. I made some of the worst decisions in my life and they were all based on emotion. I moved people into the house to not be alone, tried to sell the house just two months after my grandma passed and kept many of the accessories on that I was accustomed to such as : internet, cable, and a huge cell phone bill. I did not change my life when I should have.

I sold the house for tens of thousands less than I should have in the heart of our country's economic mess. I moved to Tennessee and began STITCH, an organization for GLBT and straight supporters. My focus would be to help them out through obstacles, I , myself, have already been through.

It is now January and I have finally signed up for school. I have never had to sign up for financial aide and have never had any student loans. I obtained scholarships right out of high school and my grandma paid for the rest. I am thrown into yet another unseen circumstance not knowing how everything will turn out. All I know is that I am focused on where I am going, keeping my fingers crossed that I will receive enough money to pay for classes and books, and that I will have speaking engagements to keep my life going.

I have now entered into the sociology program. I wanted to be able to relate more to children and help their families understand them as people. In short, I would like to become a free counselor. I will not be working out of some office or in a school, but on a website that will be free so anyone can access me at any time. I plan on getting a certificate to take suicide calls and be available to people who need to call and talk to someone who already knows their story. I went to a counselor/therapist earlier last year for grief (I thought it would make me feel better). The process was very expensive and I could not keep it up. As soon as I began opening up, I ran out of money to continue. This is something I don't want to do to someone else. I find it to be important that a person get the help they need no matter the cost.

I would like to get a masters and hopefully a doctorate in Gay and Lesbian Studies. This is a long way off, so I am not sure if this will change, but it is on my goal board and has been since my mom and step-dad passed away. I can't wait to get my degree for this will be another stepping stone in my life!

I am me, my soul and I: The story of a Life Survivor!